A Beginner's Humble Lessons

Greetings, all! I'm Jazzy, another good friend of Kampfy's. I've been playing online games with Kampfy for going on four years now and now that I have Skyrim, he has invited me to write in the blog as well.

I recently received my very first "higher level" gaming platform. I have been stuck with an old, beatdown computer that doesn't run shit and a Playstation 2 for as long as I can remember. However, I finally got that coveted PS3 along with Skyrim. I haven't figured out how to upload pictures from the PS3 to here (if you know how, please let me know) so, my posts for the time being will be without pictures.

Thus, allow me to present, Jazzy's Top 5 Lessons All Newbs Should Know When Starting Skyrim!

Lesson 1: Don't attack guards

I learned this very early on. Here I am, all joyful and happy that I finally found my way to Whiterun. I am standing at the Stable outside of Whiterun when lo and behold some guard accosts me and starts bitching at me about one thing or another. My patience was already on thin ice, so, what did I do? Fried the fucker. Oops. Big mistake. Not only did five more guards come running at me, but, I ended up dying and having to start back quite a ways as it had been forever since my last save.

Lesson 2: Don't attack guards in the city

Yep, that's right. I'm fucking retarded. After making it back to Whiterun, I finally decided to just leave the guards be and actually enter the City this time. Within FIVE FUCKING MINUTES another guard accosts me and starts rambling. Again, I'm pissed. So I killed him. Oops. I say I'd rather die than go to jail and take out three guards that rush me. Within a few more minutes, I was captured and thrown into jail. Moral of the story: If you attack the guards in the city, either run like hell and/or kill all the witnesses. Or just don't attack the guards at all.

Lesson 3: Don't piss off the Dark Brotherhood

Since the whole idea behind "killing those that piss me off" seemed to be taking shape, I decided to just stick with the "kill on sight" kind of thing. Have no remorse. Oops. Well, that worked wonderfully until I apparently pissed off some family or another and before I knew it, I had assassin after assassin after assassin coming after me. I took care of most of them, no problem, but, I still learned to be careful who I kill.

Lesson 4: Don't wander into dark caves unprepared.

I decided to give this a shot. I was walking to the Greybeards and I see a cave in the side of the mountain...oh yes, I HAVE to check it out (damn curiosity). So, I walk in (around 50% health at the time) and start looking around. Oops. Three witches pop out of nowhere and go all Palpatine on my ass. I was deep fried and skewered in about five seconds. Fuck, all that walking and now I have to start back at Whiterun...

Lesson 5: WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING PERKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I decided I wanted to toss things up a bit and make an archer/mage. I know it's a weird combination, but, I wanted something different for a change. Oops. Things were going well until I started to realize just how unbalanced I was. I had great damage and such with bows. And I had a wide variety of spells. But what about my armor? What about my ability to fight hand to hand with a weapon? If I came across a group of five enemies, I could take out two with the bow, one with my spells and then BAM, I'm all out of Magicks and they're too close to be effective with the bow. I couldn't even kill two bandits without dying twice. Check the perks, study them, and try really hard to balance your skills or you'll find yourself fucked harder than a whore in Amsterdam.

Well, that about sums up my first post. I'm sorry it's a novel with no pictures (making it less enjoyable) but it's the best I got. I look forward to continuing my quest through Skyrim with the hopes of finding a balance in my play and the choices I make for my character.

-Jazzy