Thursday, April 5, 2012


So I know I haven't posted in a bit, but I found this too cool NOT to post.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Skyrim: 2012

As much as I hate continuing to post videos, I couldn't help but post this one up. Be on the lookout for a new post Monday night, and until then, enjoy!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Stories from Skyrim, 1/3/12

Happy new year! Hoping everyone had a fantastic new year, and here's to a non world-ending 2012!

Been playing a lot of the Dark Brotherhood quests recently. and tonight, I learned just how AWESOME sneak kills are. To wrap it up quickly:

So I'm on this assassination mission. Kill this guy who cheated on his wife or some bullshit, then kill his lover. Easy enough. Asshole ended up being a bandit and was holed up in some dwarven ruins.

I am LOVING these critical kills.

So I'm "sneaking" my way through (By sneaking, I mean fucking up everyone whom I come into contact with), unlocking doors, stealing shit, owning bitches, when I finally get to the last room. I happen to get the high ground by taking a back way in and see three people huddled around a fire.

First thing I do is try to get a decent look at all of them, then tally up my shots. Aiming down at the first guy with my bow, I crit strike the fucker for 6x damage, killing him instantly. Second bandit looks in horror at his dead buddy when an arrow nails him in the chest, also killing him instantly. Their boss, my target, nearly shits himself when I jump down and slit his throat without mercy.

Make up your own caption.
It wouldn't be a story from Skyrim if something retarded didn't happen, so here's what happened next:

After killing their boss, I looked around happily at my deeds. Of course, there was one more guy hiding, so I quickly impale him and throw the corpse away. Oh look! A new room to explore! Let's check that out...

Dwemer Constructs. DWEMER CONSTRUCTS. FUCKING. EVERYWHERE. Nearly got my ass plowed by some mechanical monsters. On Lucius, I would have laughed at these things, but on Roland, they eat me alive. Sadly, though my sneak skills are outrageously awesome, my "Take hits like a champ" skills are lacking.

Until next time!

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Lesson Plan Part Dos

As Kampfy did, I decided to make a new character. I have never enjoyed playing the "assassin" type game/character. For instance, the idea behind having to sneak everywhere, take out people without others noticing, etc etc. I've always hated it. But with the myriad of options available to you in this game, you can make a sneaky assassin while still being out going and such. So, I created Salogel (yes, this name is'll see why when you figure it out). After getting much farther into the game than I did with my last character, I paid attention to those first five lessons...only to pick up and learn three more very important lessons.

Allow me to present, Three Lessons All Aspiring Sneak Assassins Should Know!

Lesson 1: Don't try to pick pocket sleeping bandits.

I like to think I'm a lot sneakier than I really am. I was doing a bounty for the Jarl of Riften where some thieves at a camp just to the east of Riften were causing problems. I snuck in, took out two of the bandits from a distance with my bow and continued on. I came across the bandit leader, sleeping soundly on a rug. I checked my surroundings and saw nobody. When I looked back at the bandit leader, the command for pickpocket showed up. I thought it was funny that I could pickpocket the sleeping bandit. Oops. The bandit woke up, four of her buddies joined her, and it was an all out slugfest. I BARELY survived. When I made it out, I decided that pickpocketing was a skill I wasn't too interested in.

Lesson 2: You can never sneak up on a group of trolls, ever.

This was actually pretty funny. I was just out exploring, not going anywhere special. I was sneaking along a river when I heard a grunt. I looked to my left and saw three trolls eating off of a dead animal. This was my time to shine. I moved around to the right some more so I could flank them from behind. Oops. I was within shooting distance when all of a sudden I became detected and they all three jumped me. After I died, I decided I had to try again. So, this time, I found the group, flanked to the other side, made sure I was WAY far away and got ready to take a shot. I hear a growl and then my screen turns dark red. I turn around only to see myself getting mauled by a fucking bear. Okay, so, I took one more attempt at this. I sneaked around a little bit, got into position and BAM, a fucking dragon flies overhead and starts attacking the trolls. The dragon then decided that he wasn't full because he came after me. I got owned.

Lesson 3: Don't piss of the Dark Brotherhood

Yes, this was included in my last post, but, I just wanted to emphasize this again. I've been really careful this time, making sure not to steal from the wrong people or kill in public where it can be seen. But, I still did something to piss somebody off or another and I've already had four assassins attempt to take me out, all carrying bounty letters for my head. Just please, do NOT piss off the Dark Brotherhood.

I also have one minor lesson that I learned...

Apparently, using Unrelenting Force is the same as a full scale attack. I saw some guards in Riften talking about how none of them believed the Dragonborn was really in Skyrim. So, I walked up and used the Shout. I did not do it to them or at them. I did it off to the side. They either became scared shitless or really angry because they all attacked me and tried to arrest me. Of course, I'm too cool for jail so I killed all four of them, took out the three people watching, and booked it.