Stories from Skyrim, 1/3/12

Happy new year! Hoping everyone had a fantastic new year, and here's to a non world-ending 2012!

Been playing a lot of the Dark Brotherhood quests recently. and tonight, I learned just how AWESOME sneak kills are. To wrap it up quickly:

So I'm on this assassination mission. Kill this guy who cheated on his wife or some bullshit, then kill his lover. Easy enough. Asshole ended up being a bandit and was holed up in some dwarven ruins.

I am LOVING these critical kills.

So I'm "sneaking" my way through (By sneaking, I mean fucking up everyone whom I come into contact with), unlocking doors, stealing shit, owning bitches, when I finally get to the last room. I happen to get the high ground by taking a back way in and see three people huddled around a fire.

First thing I do is try to get a decent look at all of them, then tally up my shots. Aiming down at the first guy with my bow, I crit strike the fucker for 6x damage, killing him instantly. Second bandit looks in horror at his dead buddy when an arrow nails him in the chest, also killing him instantly. Their boss, my target, nearly shits himself when I jump down and slit his throat without mercy.

Make up your own caption.

It wouldn't be a story from Skyrim if something retarded didn't happen, so here's what happened next:

After killing their boss, I looked around happily at my deeds. Of course, there was one more guy hiding, so I quickly impale him and throw the corpse away. Oh look! A new room to explore! Let's check that out...

Dwemer Constructs. DWEMER CONSTRUCTS. FUCKING. EVERYWHERE. Nearly got my ass plowed by some mechanical monsters. On Lucius, I would have laughed at these things, but on Roland, they eat me alive. Sadly, though my sneak skills are outrageously awesome, my "Take hits like a champ" skills are lacking.

Until next time!